Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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