he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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