My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
