I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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