i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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