He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
