well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
