Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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