Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
