Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
