U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
