Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
