i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
