Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
