its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
