Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
