dude i'm inner monologue high
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
