Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
