Your face is a jimmy john
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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