bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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