If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
