she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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