They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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