Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
