Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
