i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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