I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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