I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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