1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if i died would you start the facebook group?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm like, not good at living.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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