i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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