I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm always down for nudity.
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