I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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