What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dick very happy bro
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
