Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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