What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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