the day after is always just damage control
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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