How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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