you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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