first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
