i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
did i just pee glitter
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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