I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
