I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
