U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
