You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
