not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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