i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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