You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
