after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
