I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
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there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
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Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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