Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!