i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Pooping to opera.
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