Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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