i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize