If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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