i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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