i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
