I showed him my bush... on skype.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
